She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
