I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
