and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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