hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
