Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
