Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
