You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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