I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
