hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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