Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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