8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
