you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
