Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
