you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
