Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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