i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also, beer. Big fan.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
