small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
