He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
