Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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