i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
