that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
