Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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