Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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