Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
