I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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