come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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