left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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