I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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