just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
