I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
