Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
