What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
