...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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