the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
try to milk me bitch
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