We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
