yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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