also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
