i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
being pregnant is like rehab
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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