I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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