I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Farmville is her only friend.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
