and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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