billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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