Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
