Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
