PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
