I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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