I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
