Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
