eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
