Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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